there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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