FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
smell my finger.
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i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
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I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize