I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
