anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
