It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
