yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
