Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
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You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
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TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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