what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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