butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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