You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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