Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
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