before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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