I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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