The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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