Four minutes until I can fart!
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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