Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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