In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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