Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize