tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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