As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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