When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
