My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
