omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
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