had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
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the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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