I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Your cock deserves a montage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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