Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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