I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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