My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one