I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.