I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Randomize
