I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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