I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over