Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
These 21 People Shouldnâ€™t Be Giving Dating Advice
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday