I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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