is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
You can't special order awesome
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize