He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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