My Higher Power is John Stamos
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize