so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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