It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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