I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
