he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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