Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
worst night to have a conscience
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
