oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I booty called her while she was in labor.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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