if i can run in heels then i can drive
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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