Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
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