My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
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I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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