well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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