I hate all girls vehemently.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
