I pooped in a mop bucket.
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.