You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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