dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again