i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
His hands were made for my vagina.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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