come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize