She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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